Every so often I dig out my book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is when I need to refreshen my fundamental core values of how to deal with people. With the holidays rapidly approaching, I thought this was an opportune time.
Don Miguel Ruiz is a best-selling author who defines himself as a spiritual teacher. He teaches and writes about merging ancient Toltec wisdom with modern philosophy. My favorite of his books, The Four Agreements, focuses on what he considers healthier agreements to live by: Be impeccable with your word, Don’t take anything personally, Don’t make assumptions, and Always do your best.
I need a tune-up on Don’t take anything personally. I need it on everything from my new haircut, the presidential election, folk’s negative anticipation of winter, and just in general family drama.
Ruiz belief is that people’s perception of you is not your reality. What they may state, even if it is personal, is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. We all are a collection of agreements from when we are babies. We are taught what to agree with and what to disagree with. These agreements carry with us into adulthood. They are reflected in our choices, behaviors, and those who we associate.
When we encounter someone who was raised with different agreements, we either learn to compromise or impose our agreements onto others. There are positive and negative ways of doing that. We are not born knowing how to love or hate. We are taught agreement to that. That is reflected in how we treat others.
Ruiz states “But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.”
Today I am thankful
- Very happy I have a warm coat, hat, and gloves. Baby, it’s cold outside!
- Tonight is my second Paint Nite.
- Still smiling from a wonderful weekend.
Stay warm out there MinneSNOWtians, we are finally feeling winter!
affectionately yours, Laura