Gratitude 31October16 Trick or Treat?


Some interesting statistics from from 2015

Annual Halloween consumer spending $7,900,000,000
Average amount spent on Halloween $93.42
Average amount spent on a Halloween costume $31.52
Average amount spent on candy $27.05
Average spent on Halloween decorations $24.79
Annual spending on child costumes $1,240,000,000
Annual spending on adult costumes $1,550,000,000
Annual spending on candy $2,330,000,000
Annual spending on decorations $2,020,000,000
Annual spending on greeting cards $35,000,000

Today I am thankful

  • Looking forward to seeing friends tonight
  • One fall holiday down, Turkey day next!
  • Totally hooked on NBA basketball and the Hallmark channel
  • Content and happy

Have a happy and safe Halloween evening.

affectionately yours, Laura

Gratitude 27October16 The Gift of Goodbye

your-destinyEvery now and again I have to play this video of TD Jakes called The Gift of Goodbye. Sometimes I need to play it several times.

I need reminding that when people’s part of your story is over, it is over. It doesn’t mean anyone is wrong. It just means their part is over. Even super glue cannot keep someone with you who is not intended to be with you. “Nothing just happens.”

I am someone who will hang on till my knuckles are white. I call, text, send messages  —  all to ask for time with people — silence is all I hear. And I am hurt. Those who want you in their life will make time for you. I internalize that rejection.

I will grieve the loss of a relationship till I am questioning my self-worth. Am I a bad person? Maybe I am toxic? I better take some quizzes on the internet to be sure.

I need to be reminded to stop begging people to love me, to stay, for some time, to forgive me; I need to reaffirm my gift of goodbye.

Today I am thankful

  • My heartbeats.
  • My best friend is on Facebook 🙂  Thank you K-Doo
  • Snuggling up with a new book tonight

When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Wish them a blessed, healthy, and happy life. And be on your way.

affectionately yours, Laura

Gratitude 26October16 The Sum Total of Five

golden-girls-1Every day I jot down what I am thankful for whether I blog about it or not. I don’t often include people on those lists. Those people I give thanks for in my prayers. I lift them up and ask God to bless them in every way possible that I as a human can not.

John Rohn is a motivational speaker, who is famous for his statement “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” He based his theory on the law of averages, wherein any situation, there will be an average of all outcomes.

With that in mind, I looked at my cell phone and journal and wrote down the five people I have interacted with the most during the month of October. I then wrote down three words that described each of them. A shock was because I spend a lot of time alone, if I included myself as the sixth, I am my worst influence!

It was a powerful experience for me in a positive way. I am surrounding myself with people who love me without conditions, appreciate me for who I am, are honest, intelligent, talented and gifted, have a sense of humor, make time for me in their day, and we offer something of value to each other. It also pointed out areas of growth — something to explore.

Today I am thankful

  • My Circle of Women, you know who you are.
  • Caribou Reindeer coffee – limited edition – is being released for the holidays this weekend
  • I ordered a small heater for my little house to take the chill out .. burr
  • A Santi day is always a good day

As someone who keeps their world small, I often say I have many acquaintances and few dear friends. It is a comfort to know I am choosing wisely.

affectionately yours, Laura


Gratitude 18October16 The Naked Candidates

After the Donald Trump naked statues appeared across the nation, I knew it would not be long for a Hillary Clinton statue to appear. Today, it came true in Manhattan, New York.

trump-2I am saddened by the response to the statues. I am no fan of The Donald, but, there was a distinct difference in the way the two were perceived by the public.

When the Donald Trump statue appeared it quickly became a hot spot as people lined up to take selfies with it. There was no outrage. The fact that the likeness was made without testicles and a very small penis were a laughing matter. No protests were apparent.

Even the New York Parks Department got a dig in by issuing the following “NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.” It was removed on the grounds that an artist didn’t have a valid permit to set it up.

hillarystatueembedFast forward to today when a Hillary Clinton statue appeared. A woman who owned the store the statue was placed in front of — literally pushed down the Hillary statue in outrage and sat on it — refusing to allow the artist to put it back up.

Crowds quickly began to gather and take sides for freedom of expression of the artist and helping the woman. Unlike Trump, Clinton’s genitalia was covered with a thong. No one was lining up for selfies.

At this time, the New York Parks Department has not released a statement. New York Police required the artist, Antonio Scioli, to remove the Clinton statue because he did not have the required permits to set it up.

The blatant differences in the greetings of these two events can not be ignored. I would think the reactions would be flipped, being liberal and conservative. Clinton’s liberal crowd being more open to nakedness and seeing the satire of it all. And Trump’s conservative crowd the shocked ones. Obviously, that is not the case. Bottom line, Trump, and Clinton are deserving of equal respect.

Today I am thankful

  • My Mom has been in heaven for 10 years today. I am thinking of her.
  • Time with my bestie
  • My new Queen coffee cup — I just like it so much
  • Paperwork is almost done — yuck

I can’t help but wonder if this is a reflection of the 22 days to come. As I talk to my women friends, we are all feeling a protectiveness of each other and empowerment from the exposure of the “pussygate” tape. The last week or so of media coverage has brought forth the conversation of male entitlement to women’s bodies. Women are protecting each other and bonding together. We are saying “no” louder than ever. I digress. Another blog for another day.

affectionately yours, Laura



Gratitude 12October16 Homeless with Shopping Cart

shes-off-her-medsHalfway into my therapy appointment today, my therapist looked at me with bewilderment and surprise. I was telling her that I was convinced, no matter who won the presidential election, I was destined to be a homeless woman with a shopping cart.

I am positive that I am going to lose my benefits, I won’t be able to afford my medications, which will make me really crazy.

I told her I was scoping out friends and families backyards and measuring shopping carts at different stores to see who has the largest one to hold the most of my stuff. I was wondering if I should buy clothes in camouflage colors in case the whole backyard situation didn’t work out.

She told me, as calmly as she could, I wasn’t the only one to feel this heightened sense of anxiety over this presidential election. Well, she did ask if I was taking my medications, but, never mind. What I am experiencing is what therapists and counselors are calling Election Stress Disorder.

for-the-dogs“Who are you voting for?” the five most dreaded words since, well, the last two elections. At least the elections with Obama I was floating along with the happiness of the hope and change message. This campaign –both candidates — is like being in a haunted house.

You are constantly on edge not knowing what is going to be leaked or what tape is going to be exposed. As the electorate, we the people, in order to keep informed are on an emotional rollercoaster. What is Wikileaks going to post today? Or are the tapes from The Apprentice finally going to surface?

Psychology Today has a good article on Election Stress Disorder. It would cause me additional stress to break it down for you, so here is the link:

Today I am thankful

  • Despite it all, there is no other country I would rather live in than the U.S.of A.
  • I have made a no politics tonight commitment
  • I am ready for the new episode of #QueenSugar
  • My new blanket from Sam’s Club
  • My best friend is back in town! Yay

I concede, yes, my imagination is vivid. Chances are you won’t find me with a Cub (they do have the biggest) shopping cart, homeless, camped out in your backyard after the elections. But, just in case, I will be taking red wine donations.

affectionately yours, Laura



Gratitude 10October16 Wandering Bill

trustI have had significant others who cheated. They are all ex-significant others now. I have been the “other” woman. Another blog, for another day. Once the trust broke, you could not put the relationship back together with super glue. And I tried diligently.

None of my exes were the President of the United States. None of them paid $850,000 to make an affair go away. None of them got their dick sucked in the Oval Office. None of them used a cigar to masturbate their young mistress. At least not to my knowledge. And that is just the icing on the cake where Bill Clinton is concerned, his sexual escapades he is accused of during his marriage is long and torrid.

Do I have respect for a man who did this to his significant other? No. Do I support his significant other who has chosen to stay with his cheating ass? The best I can. Her choice. She has to sleep with him, not me.

Some challenge Hillary’s reaction to Bill’s cheating. I and many who have been cheated on can attest it is equivalent to going through the stages of death and dying — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — whether your partner is the president of the free world or a janitor, you still deal with the matters of the heart.

Most of us process through the stages in our pajamas with a pint of Ben & Jerry Chunky Monkey, Hillary did it in the media, quoted at every stage.

choseDoes it make me respect her any less? No. Every person chooses their path. Is this a reflection of her judgement of character? No. A man can be an intelligent man with a wandering dick. After all, let’s look who Hillary is running against, a wandering dick who also grabs pussy.

Why do women stay with men who cheat? There are many reasons. Foremost, love. That emotion that has no logic — it just is. The fear of being alone. Women are nurturers, and it is their nature to suffer themselves to keep a family together. Financial, also, plays a large dynamic on a woman who is dependent on a man.

None of the above reasons seem to justify why Hillary would stay with Bill. She is an independent woman. Chelsea is an adult with her family. And I would guess her bank account has multiple zeros after the million dollar place holders.

While watching the debate last night, I wondered as Trump so blatantly used Bill as his “Trump card” So, why not drop Bill and get rid of a headache?

If the articles and books over the years are to be believed, it was Hillary’s mother, her role model who swayed her decision. Her mother who taught love and loyalty, and as Clinton often quotes her mother’s “you don’t quit” motto. Hillary refused to give up her marriage.

Today I am thankful

  • Pumpkin creamer
  • Crisp fall air
  • Flannel sheets on my bed

In the infamous words of Tina Turner “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” Obviously, for Hillary, everything. I would have kicked him to the curb a long time ago.

affectionately yours, Laura