Today would have been my Dad’s 93rd birthday. In his memory, one of my favorite Dad stories. I love you, Dad. I hope you are cruising heaven in your new car and if there are casino’s there, I am positive you are shaken your dice. Daughter #3
Whenever my Dad begins a story with “Laur, You’re not going to believe what happened” it piques my interest. Not only because of the way he tells a story but, chances are really high the situation that happened will result in a good belly laugh. Here we go.
Dad: I’m watching Judge Judy, and there is a knock on the door. (I have learned the hard way, you never interrupt Dad during his Judge Judy time.)
Me: Were you using your Judge Judy coffee cup, too?
Dad: Will you stop that. Where was I? Damn it. Oh, yeah.
Dad: So, there is Margaret* with her fancy scooter at my door. She wanted to ask me about Tony down the hall. I told her to waltz herself down the hall to Tony’s. I was busy. No, I’ve got better things to do with my time.
Me: Does she have the hots for Tony now?
Dad: I don’t know. Just so it’s not me, as he points to himself. She’s a large girl, you know, spreading his arms wide. And she goes whipping around on that electric contraption. She’s going to run someone over.
Me: So, that’s it?
Dad: No. I stood blocking my door. I have this vision of a sentry guarding his castle. No one gets a peek in here. No, sir. Mind your own damn business. She has that thing pressed up close to my feet. He points to the floor drawing an invisible line with his hand. I pointed to Tony’s door and told her again; he’s over there. Well, Laur, she tells me “I can’t back up.”
Me: What do you mean she can’t back up? Is her scooter broken?
Dad: I don’t know, but, I tell her “Well you’re not coming in here to turn around.” I just vacuumed yesterday, and she’s wasn’t coming in my living room like some bat out of hell with that scooter being nosy.
Me: Now laughing as I picture the scene “Dad, did you push her and help turn her around?”
Dad: Hell no! I can’t push myself around. She started backing that thing up a few inches and it would “beep, beep” then she’d go forward a few inches, then back up a few inches “beep, beep.” I stood there watching her. I couldn’t believe my eyes! In the meantime, a blur goes flying by! I see that damn cat whip around the corner and go into my apartment!
Note: A woman “The Cat Lady” who lives on his floor lets her cat wander up and down the hallway. Drives my Dad crazy because it will sit by doors and meow loudly.
Me: Where did the cat go?
Dad: As he throws his arms into the air, he tells me “In my bedroom!” I slam the door and go in to get that damn cat before he can get on my bed. I just did my laundry. No way, Nope. No cat in this place.
Note: My Dad will be 91 in 2 months and is not as quick and nimble as he once was.
Me: Now laughing hysterically holding my stomach. Ahh, there is nothing like a good deep belly laugh and my Dad did not disappoint with this story.
Dad: Laur, this is not funny. It’s serious. I’m looking at this cat, and he’s looking at me. I’m telling it “shoo-shoo” trying to get it out of my room. I took a dive for it, and it runs to my bathroom. I go to my bathroom; it goes back to my bedroom. I am wondering “What in the sam hell is going on here?” I’m getting exhausted going back and forth after this cat.
Me: You should have gotten water. Cat’s don’t like water.
Dad: Rolling his eyes, I’ll tell you. I couldn’t hear that “beep beep” outside my door anymore. So, I propped my door open with my rug. I went to the kitchen and got my yard stick. For effect, he goes over and gets the yardstick to show me.
Dad: This cat is now sitting in the hallway looking at me. I started toward it, and back in my bedroom, it goes under my bed. I used that yardstick, you see, as he waves it back and forth like a samurai sword in very slow motion, under my bed. I must have given him a good swat because he came flying out of there and ran out of the room.
Dad: By the time I got up from kneeling and got into the other room — he was long gone. I showed him who was the boss.
Me: And Scooter Lady?
Dad: Well, she’s Tony’s problem now. Poor guy.
Me: I am now reaching for Kleenex to wipe my laughing tears. You handled that well, Dad.
Dad: Standing a bit taller. Damn right I did. He’ll think twice before he messes with me again. Shaking his head, I missed all of Judge Judy though.
Later that afternoon when I brought Dad home from hanging out — sure enough — that cat was sitting in a chair, they have across from the elevators. He took one look at my Dad and took off down the hall.
Dad looked at me with a smug nod. See, I told you, Laur. He won’t mess with this guy again, pointing to his chest. I laughed all the way home.
*Names changed to protect the innocent
Today I am thankful
- Memories. One day, my Dad will end his journey here, yet, stories like this will live on.
- I wrote the above “thankful” on the 3rd of August 2014. On the 7th of June this year, my Dad ended his life journey. I am so thankful for this memory. I can remember it as if it were yesterday and I laughed just as hard. Despite the challenges, I will never regret the time I spend with those I love.
My wish for you is to always take the time to make memories.
affectionately yours, Laura