Gratitude 30August16 Relationship​ Equations

equasions.jpgRecently while writing, I began to list the people in my life who have made a difference. Somewhere in that process, I started to make equations out of our relationships. I would add me plus that person, and the sum would be an emotional, descriptive word. For example Laura + (insert name) = Love.

One interesting thing became apparent as I did this impromptu exercise. Although the names and sum words changed, one word did not, Laura. That was alright for the positive sum words, but it was a hard thing to look at for the negative word sums. There is accountability in relationships on both sides.

I don’t know about you, but I would rather all the drama be in someone else’s house and not my own. To reflect and think “Alright, yes, there was some drama hiding in my back closet, too. Well, in the kitchen, also” is a look in the mirror that takes throwing your shoulders back and just looking yourself straight on.

I am at a point in my life where I want peace of mind more than to be right or more than to prove my point or more than I want to be the bad bitch. I think that is what led me to start the whole equations exercise. Looking at the people in my life who have made an impact on who I am today.

Today I am thankful

  • It is a beautiful day out
  • I get to spend time with my best friend
  • Started Dirk’s recommendation You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

In full disclosure, I did my first love and my ex-husband with full algebra equations. 🙂

affectionately yours, Laura

 

Gratitude 29August16 Love to Hate

“People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Nelson Mandela

mlkI have been reading a lot about hate lately. From a personal and social perspective. I am trying to understand what drives a person to such a place of vindictiveness. I understand some of the society issues of abuse and intolerance. I struggle with it. There are things in my life I don’t like — but, hate? I can’t say that. Just the word itself has such a negative connotation.

When you are obsessively over-the-moon in love with someone, or you loathe someone, it has the same effect. That person is always on your mind. By always being in your thoughts, you, in essence, are giving them your power. The more you give away, means you lose control of your ability to be rationally objective. At least with love, it is happiness, but with hate, it brings about a toxic reaction. Unlike love, which produces happy endorphins; hate can lead to severe health problems.

The difference between love and hate, as stated in the article Here’s What Your Brain Is Doing When You Really, Really Hate Someone by Esther Inglis-Arkell. “When we love someone, we shut off the part of our brain that judges – a trait that, we hope, has led to more happiness than sorrow. When we hate someone, we leave the judgment part of our brain a blazing.” Which explains why you cannot stand every little thing that person does that you can’t stand. And explains why when we are in the initial phases of romance we don’t notice his annoying habits.

mlk-quoteI truly believe children are not born hating. I do not believe we are born prejudice. I believe we are products of our environment. As children, then as adults, we hear, see, and learn from our role models and friends. We are influenced by what we hear in gossip, on television, Facebook, and on and on. In that, sadly — is very little about love and a whole lot of negative and hate. Often we don’t take the time to go to “the source” or “resource the true story” or we take the meme and post it and click. Sad isn’t it? Has it always been this way?

It pushed me here, to my gratitude blog. It has made me sort out some of the negative sources in my life. I am cognitively seeking out the positive in my world.

Today I am thankful

  • It was a productive day and I got much accomplished
  • I like my home so much, it gives me joy
  • Looking forward to seeing an old friend

I wish I had magic words to end this blog with. Soothing words on how to love everybody and stop all the hate. Maybe it just begins with each of us. And that will be my wish to each of you, I wish you, powerful love.

affectionately yours, Laura

Gratitude 24August16 Pray or Worry?

During an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Curtis Jackson aka 50 Cent, made a profound statement. “Pray or worry, don’t do both.”

What Jackson said broke it down to a reality we all face daily. In life, there are two choices to whatever you are facing. You either chose to release your inner truths to your higher power and trust for a resolution. Or, you dwell on it and worry. But, to do both? There isn’t much sense to it. Many of us do just that every day.

Living via Pinterest.com

Living via Pinterest.com

Worry is a non-productive rumination of thoughts that cause unease within us. Given free reign, it can take up space in our lives. There will always be something that will cause us to have concern and worry over. Our health, finances, families, and the list is endless. At some point to live life fully, we have to let go of worry and trust it will all work out.

As a Christian, my letting go is to pray about it. To offer it up to God with the thought that I have done the best I can in the situation. I give the control over to God to handle the worry. I trust that what will be, will be. It frees my mind to live a happier and content life. Bottom line, I figure there will be a blessing, or I will see the karma bus coming down the street to run my ass over in the form of a lesson.

Today I am thankful

  • A productive Wednesday
  • Did some writing today
  • Enjoying my watermelon

Wishing you all the brave to let go and live worry free.

affectionately yours, Laura

**reprint from 14August14 that I need to be reminded of today

Gratitude 11August16 Hair Control

Today I am thankful

  • Every day with Santi is a good day
  • Me 3    Fruit Flies 0
  • Paperwork is done! Yeah

waxing 4As a woman, I know that I have few options when it comes to controlling the growth of hair that covers my vagina. I can shave, use hair removal cream, wax, or just let it grow wild and free. I thought about this as I was shaving myself this morning in the bathtub doing a touch-up before going swimming this afternoon. And the thought occurred to me briefly to go wild and free as I banged my elbow again on the shower wall for the umpteenth time.

The issue of hair removal for women is not new. There are historical references that date back to ancient Egypt documenting the discovery of copper razors, and images of women with perfect little tiny pubic hair triangles were found, etched into stone. In the 30’s and 40’s as more skin showed, more hair disappeared. Fast forward to the 1960’s to the introduction of Playboy and freedom of pornography era where the hairless clean too perfect to be true vagina became the pussy of every man’s fantasies.

I believe it has taken that 50-year jump to today and the hit shows like Sex in the City episodes where Carrie and Samatha discuss her getting her Brazilian wax, for women to feel free just to talk about maintenance of their vagina appearance like they do a haircut. I say do what you and your va-jay-jay are comfortable with Boo. Do you.

wax 2Quoting from everydayfeminism.com website, “The waxing industry is certainly trying to convince us that shelling out $40-$80 every four weeks is necessary. Surveys show that women will spend approximately $10,000 and the equivalent of over four months of their lives removing hair.” Now, that is a lot of cash to let someone inflict pain on you while instructing you to put your legs behind your ears or get on your hands and knees if you want to get the back side.

Speaking from personal experience, having delivered two babies natural childbirth, I thought how much pain could it be to wax myself at home? I would save some money. Slap on some wax, a few strips of gauze and be done with it. Well, after getting my ass stuck to the bathroom floor, leaving a piece of ass stuck to the bathroom floor, and having to waddle into the salon to have the gauze strips very painfully removed. I went to Target bought an electric razor and am now living happily ever after. The end.

affectionately yours, Laura

Gratitude 10August16 Keep Dancing

dance - CopyToday I am writing my 383rd blog on affectionately yours, Laura. I wrote my first blog on the 30th of September 2013 and since, I have had 13,163 blog views from 5,674 different visitors from 7 different countries across the world. Rather overwhelming when I think about it; beginning the adventure with a gratitude email blog with six dear friends in September of 2012.

For those of you who have been along with me during this long journey; my writing is eclectic in nature. The only common theme is to find within, whatever is going on, gratitude. To give thanks — that there is always something good in even the darkest of times.

 

 

Today I give thanks

Yoga was a challenge, but, I got through it
I have discovered Lipton Green Tea and am hooked
Today I am buying a new laptop and feel like a kid at Christmas

As my writing reflects my journey in life, I can not hide I am struggling. My father’s death has taken a toll on me. As those of you who have lost a parent can attest to, you think you are prepared, and discover you are not. Grief has opened an old wound. Required renewed forgiveness. Called forth to me to be a stronger woman. Has forced me to keep dancing despite the pain.

Writing heals me. It is what gives voice to the emotions that otherwise remain unspoken in my spirit. I would be writing this blog even if there was not one person on my email list. I write with my heart. I write because every single day I must keep myself accountable and in tune with what is good in my life and that there is so much to be grateful. It is that which keeps me thriving. It keeps me fighting depression. It keeps me standing firm and reminding myself I am a grateful survivor. If along the way someone says “I can relate to that. You helped me” It is a blessing. And my wish for you, keep dancing!

affectionately yours, Laura

Gratitude 5August16 Dirty and Sloppy

“There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself.” Silver Linings Playbook

Our lives are an accumulation of our life experiences and lessons. Whether they are positive or negative, they define how we see the world and ourselves. It is the totality of that, that makes you, who you are today in all of your splendor and glory.

Love LiveAll of us have something in our past or about ourselves that is dirty and sloppy. We all have chapters in our lives that we would prefer not to read out loud. Remember, don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you do – we all are dirty and sloppy in our own ways.

“To thine own self be true,” Shakespeare said, which keeps us empowered to our true selves. It keeps us from being in bondage to those times when we find ourselves in situations where we are feeling dirty and sloppy about ourselves. Not quite so pleased with our reaction or behavior.Those moments that we must look ourselves in the mirror and face the consequences.

Today I am thankful

  • Life is returning to normal. I am content.
  • My windows are open. No air conditioning!
  • Time with valued friends this weekend

We learn the valuable life lesson and tally it to our accumulation of who we are. And should continue liking all aspects of ourselves all the more for being just a bit dirtier and sloppy having learned something new. And for those of us who jump into the pool rather than sit on the side and wonder “What if”? Yes, for taking the risk.

If all of our experiences lead to who you are, then, it’s been a fucking amazing life thus far; wouldn’t you agree?

affectionately yours, Laura