Gratitude 13Sept14 I am What I am

I wear my emotions on my face, sleeve and whatever part of my body emotion can be detected. I am not good at filtering my thoughts and body language. It is a combination of strength and weakness of mine.

Mirror Oil on canvas by Tigran Tsitoghdzyan

Mirror Oil on canvas by Tigran Tsitoghdzyan

I am a “Say what I mean and mean what I say” woman. The standard phrase of “Love you” doesn’t come out of habit. “I love you” comes from my heart and I mean it. My offers to help, are only given when all of me, is in it.

No, I am a woman who you can easily discern my meaning when I say “Bitch, please.” in jest or “Oh, Bitch, Please. You have more issues than People magazine.” My style of real and raw leaves no doubt to what I am thinking. You can rest assured, when you walk away from me, you know exactly where I stand with you.

At times, I wish I had a poker face. The kind of person who has that smile with blank eyes, who doesn’t reveal what they are really thinking, and carries themselves with a casual ease of body posture. I know people like that. They are the ones who I feel the need to wear a Kevlar vest around to protect myself from the knife that is thrust into my back as they hug me and say those empty words of love.

Yes, I guarantee if you are a friend of mine, you will see my tell signs.

In happiness, I will reach out to touch you, I will maintain eye contact and I will open myself with all of me to all of you. In confusion, the lifting of my right eyebrow, the tilt of my head to my right side, and the murmured “Hmmm“ will emanate from me. In extreme conflict, I won’t be able to look you in the eyes and the words I desperately wish I could contain will come tumbling out of me

To quote Popeye, “I am what I am, and that’s all I am.”

Today I am thankful for ..

  • I accept my life as it is.
  • The sounds of life outside my window.
  • A Santi day is always a good day.
  • In everything there is a lesson to be learned.

The greatest gift to be given is the gift of your true self. You are unique and one of a kind. And, that, my friend, is why I treasure you.

affectionately yours, Laura

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