Gratitude 6August14 “Opps, Excuse Me”

I have a confession. Yesterday, while standing in line to check out at a store, I passed gas. The silent lethal kind. Embarrassed, I turned and looked at the woman behind me and gave her my one eyebrow up look of “Wow.” She shrugged back at me and then we both looked at the little old lady behind her, who smiled sweetly and said “Opps, excuse me.” I barely contained my giggles till I got to the safety of my car. I thought, “You go, Girl.” She obviously is at peace with her bodily functions, whether they are hers or not!
Wonder Woman via Google search

Wonder Woman via Google search

What is up with the whole passing gas situation? It seems to be getting worse as I get older. I can bend over and it just happens. It’s like having your own personal brand of lethal nerve gas you have no control over. There is nothing more embarrassing then going to a public bathroom and breaking wind loudly while you pee. Or knowing one is coming and praying it is silent and not a loud one as it escapes through your Spanx encased butt cheeks. About the only place I know, where women pass gas and no one cares, is in yoga class. You get in some of those positions and it sounds like a gas symphony!

So, at the risk of outing myself at the next friend/family function where an unusual odor is detected, I began to do research in my defense. Flatulence, passing gas, poot, fart or whatever is your preference to call it, is caused by air in your intestines that needs to be released. Air is often given entry through the process of eating or the foods we eat that create a gas reaction. The smell is caused by sulfuric gas from sulfur rich foods. Which explains my smell lately; all that damn Havarti cheese I have been snacking on.
A couple of interesting facts I found in my research. Everyone passes gas, everyone. Oprah, Queen Elizabeth, even Wonder Woman — been there, done that. The average person passes gas about 15 times a day. Most of the gas passing happens in our sleep. For your own protection, don’t pass gas with your butt facing a candle or fire. Human gas has high levels of hydrogen and methane. Both of which are highly flammable. Now that would be a fire!
Today I am thankful for ..
  • It is my day to volunteer at one of my favorite places — the library
  • A Blake Shelton song that keeps running through my brain “My eyes”
  • I found the perfect sundress for an upcoming occasion
  • A Santi day is always a good day!

If you see someone without a smile, give them yours.

affectionately yours, Laura

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