This month’s Psychology Today magazine has a fascinating article Love & Lust by Virginia Rutter Ph D. An interesting read on the dynamics of how the changing of life affects you sexually. It delves into the interconnection between the love and lust in a relationship. Probably the most profound piece of the whole article was summed up by a contributor, Bill Harrison, “For me, touch and closeness have always been as important as sex is.”
I have never been a believer in love at first sight. Do I believe in lust at first sight? Oh, yeah. That crazy wave of heat that rushes through you for someone on the most primitive of levels. Lust is the wet and hard automatic reaction of bodies. Thoughts are of physical attributes of breasts, asses, thighs. Love? Love is based on the bodies reaction of how a smile makes you feel. That jump in your belly that gives you goose bumps. Your mind reacts to that innate connection with thoughts of how much you like and are comfortable around that person. Big Difference.
I could relate to the article as I look back over my life and how the definitions of love and lust have changed for me. No longer do I believe that you can just have a physical encounter with someone and get sexual gratification. The reasons you chose to have a potentially dangerous booty call go deeper then the need to just “get off.” I don’t care if a man’s dick is dipped in gold and can make your toes cramp from coming. Eventually, you will come down from that euphoria and will have to deal with the consequences for yourself. Maybe the thrill of the encounter will last a while, eventually you realize you are still alone and the hunt for gratification begins again. Without a relationship — what is there?
With words — that exchange of information — to form a bridge of trust. That is where the foundation of love begins to be built. The comfort that not only can I count on you when times are good, more crucial, when times are hard. The article states “Studies also show that long-term couples get better at sex and get more pleasure out of it.” It is the “touch and closeness” reference I made earlier. When you find “I love you enough to trust you with my life secrets and to take my body to paradise,” hang on tight and don’t let go.
Today I am thankful for ..
- It’s 4am and the city outside my window is still asleep. It is peaceful.
- My presentation I will begin giving this fall is getting more comfortable.
- It’s August. My favorite season of the year, fall, is near
I stated earlier I am not a believer in “love at first sight.” I am a believer in true love. I observe couples around me who have endured years together. They not only have love and respect for each other, you can still catch a glance of passion between them. It keeps me single till I find that right person. It keeps me striving to be a better person, not just for myself, but of sharing my best with others. There are other means of sexual gratification without penetration. Another blog for another day. My bottom line … If I am blessed with a chance at true love in my life, with a touch of “can’t keep my hands off of you” passion, I want to be ready.
affectionately yours, Laura