Sometimes old memories come back to haunt me. Like tonight. It’s 3 in the morning and I am wide awake. I woke out of a sound sleep with my brother in my heart and on my mind. I have always been different like that. For no reason I will feel the need to reach out or to just pray and lift someone up. People come into my heart and mind for no reason, I have come to accept it.
Other times, it’s my negative old memories that come back to taunt me. Messages of inadequacy, bad choices, things that happened to me I had no control of. I have to remind myself not to give them power as they replay in my mind. No longer am I that person. Metaphorically speaking, I have to resist the urge to get some popcorn, a glass of “whine” and snuggle in with my blanket to watch re-runs of my life movie on the big screen in my brain.
There is nothing we can do about our past. Trust me on this, I have tried. We make atonement and ask for forgiveness of ourselves and others. At that point, it is unhealthy to stay stuck there. We must move on to live fully today. I was recently told I carry so much baggage around with me that I couldn’t afford to fly anymore if I had to pay for all of it to get on a flight! My challenge to myself, is to fly Spirit Airlines with just a backpack for a trip, just because. No baggage. Just the essentials.
In order to move ahead successfully, you can not take the past with you. Part of me challenges that. I have always been of the mind-set that all the lessons of my past, make me who I am today. The piece of that I missed was, leaving behind the negative emotion attached to the lessons and only bringing the positive along for the rest of the journey.
Today i am thankful for ..
- A late night Marilyn Monroe movie marathon
- Walking through the fire without getting burned
- Old friends that become new friends
- My trusty blanket
Enjoy your Friday and Happy Weekend.
affectionately yours, Laura
**rewrite of blog 19October13