I am facing an overwhelming challenge today. Rare have been the moments in my life I have felt fear. I have always lived a life freely that bears the memories of success and the scars of consequences. Today, is a day of reckoning. I wrote in a blog, a day or so ago, about being disappointed in myself. Not, regret; just disappointment. It’s the choices I made and must now live with. They have settled themselves deep within and are at work on my every last nerve.
Everyone copes differently with these disappointments in self. I have often said “We all have a jone’s to ease the discomfort of the unrest of our souls.” We fill the fear with excess of — food, Don Julio, smoke — I just told on myself, didn’t I? — whatever it is to make us feel better and take away the discomfort for a moment in time. The hard work is in resolution. It is our responsibility to be accountable and resolve issues to live a life of contentment; not just mere moments of it in a self-induced haze.
I woke this morning with a simple prayer to my higher power. “God, show me what I need to learn today from this, to bless me with Your favor. To guide me in a direction of being a better person. To humbly give gratitude for what may come and what I must accept” I opened my daily devotional to this:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
To steal a line from Oprah, What I know for sure .. today will come and go. With it the lessons I will learn. I will grow from them and a better me will awake tomorrow morning. Playing small has never been my thing — it’s time to turn up my shine.
Today I am thankful for ..
- A pair a hot new red shoes to wear to a party tonight
- I am loved unconditionally and love unconditionally
- Listening to old school Malo
As quoted by Marianne Williamson “We are all meant to shine.” Not some of us — all of us. Wishing you shine all day long.
affectionately yours, Laura