gratitude 27january2014 i admit

over the past few years i have come to a place in my life that i don’t put a lot of energy into drama. this past year has been focused on learning tools of yoga, meditation, affirmations and the occasional glass of wine to release, rather than let it upset me. i have also come to a place in my life where if i am wrong — i admit it and move along. if i offended — i apologize and get on with life. what i still struggle with is being accused or set-up when it truly was not me. 

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in my past i have not always been a nice person. i could and have the potential to be a real bitch and do mean things. that has not been my present or my foreseen future. i have gone above and beyond to appease and go with the flow. it’s sad, really, when situations are such that accusations are made up. when people are unhappy and transfer it onto others. i get it. i have been there — done that. but not anymore am i in that place. because of that i have a sense of great empathy and sadness. okay, i admit, it’s mixed with my struggle to not back slide into past behavior. 

here i sit shaking my head wondering how i bought into the hype. when you do everything, say everything to make it all okay and it still is not an honest reflection of what was understood. i am to the point of not hiding anymore. i am not going to sugar coat it anymore. i am unhappy where i am at and that will change quickly. i have the support of my team, legal help and family and friends. it’s time to get brave and take action. 

today i am thankful for .. 

  • time with my grandson and grandpuppy
  • the support of those i trust and love
  • the calm of make positive choices
  • the excitement of my future

thank you for reading my rant. it always helps to see it in black and white. that and to know i am not the only one who struggles.

affectionately yours, Laura

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