i have had this self-image of myself as pigpen from peanuts for a very long time. i see myself shuffling around in a cloud of dirt that is the baggage i carry around — self doubt, fear, depression, disappointment — you get the picture. lately that image isn’t as vivid. yet, i have had it for so long, it is hard to replace. i believe the blessing of self growth is the freedom it brings. as my life changes with new choices i am making, my cloud of dirt is dissipating as i am ridding myself of the excess stuff and baggage.
a huge piece of luggage i no longer carry everywhere has been my choice to no longer “own” depression. awhile ago i wrote that i had renamed this illness “gershom” which in the biblical context means a sojourner there. it is not “of” me; rather, a visitor passing through me. it is not “who” i am. setting that piece of luggage down has given me a skip in my step. a freedom i am unaccustomed to. the other luggage i have set down, yet, haven’t sent away is the self-doubt i struggle with. however, setting it down and not lugging it with me, is a positive step. i haven’t figured out the whole new image, yet. i imagine water will be involved though! something like this …
today i am thankful for ..
- the freedom of change
- making healthy choices
- rumor has it — it will be in the 30’s this weekend
- an exciting weekend ahead
my favorite quote seems to be apropos for this time in my life. “the important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” wishing you the brave to step outside of your comfort zone and soar. take a moment to pay it forward today. you will cross someones path who needs.
affectionately yours, Laura